IC Contact/Voicemail

[twinsanity]

[VOICE/TEXT/VIDEO; OPEN TO ALL]

"State your business in fifteen words or less; if it's important, I'll call you back."

[Please state in the subject line if OOC planning is preferred and we can handwave like the wind, but otherwise IC will be assumed!]

Comments

Dec 30th/31st | Voicemail 1/too many

[bertall]

_[3:02AM]

Allllllllfred! Alfred, you should... You should pick up your phone-thing. S'Bertl! I did, uhm... I did... I did things! I did that thing you said to do!

[bertall]

_[3:05AM]

Alfred.

[bertall]

_[3:06AM]

Are you aslee--_[THUNK.]

[bertall]

<sub>[3:06AM]

M'okay!</sub>

[bertall]

_[3:15AM]

Hey, Alf--Alfur... Alferd. Alferd. I wanna... I gotta tell y'somethin' really 'mportant.

[bertall]

_[3:20AM]

You 'n Reiner are stupid. Y'do... Y'do stupid things. You fell off a balcony and I thought you died. You're both stupid. He does stupid things too but that's stupid. Stupider.

[bertall]

<sub>[3:25AM]

[The next one is just a full minute of giggling.]</sub>

[bertall]

_[3:30AM]

You're--You're a good person, Alfred. M'glad you're stupid and jumped off the balcony 'n m'glad you're alive instead of...

Not-alive.



We should... do stuff. I 'unno what but we gotta do stuff... and things. Me 'n you. Fubar 'n Ashfloor. Doing things. Reiner's not invited.

NOW IT'S... DONE....

[bertall]

_[3:31AM]

We're friends, right?

[twinsanity]

[...oh my god.

He is not awake enough for any of this, and he suspects that Bertholdt is also not awake enough for any of this, so he's just...going to leave this until a more halfway respectable time of morning.

Namely, 7:30 AM or so. Hope you're not hungover - ]

Bertholdt Fubar, you had better not be dead of alcohol poisoning over there!!

[ - because holy shit, can this guy screech when he wants to.]

[bertall]

<sub>[Well it's better than 6:30, but it wouldn't make much of a difference to him either way; his head hurt and he felt way too sick to even try throwing his 'gear halfway across the room to get it to stop making noise.

Actually he did try, but protesting in the form of grumbles isn't very effective.]</sub>

Mnnm.

_{[Translation? THIS WAS A STUPID IDEA.]}

Feb 3rd | text

[bertall]

Alfred?
You're from a noble family or something right?

[twinsanity]

[Well, doesn't this look promising...]

Yes. Why are you asking about that, though?

[bertall]

Does it ever bother you that I'm not? I was talking to someone and|

_{[Alfred he needs some help here okay he let himself get bullied by a tiny girl.]}

She just said some things that made me start thinking.

[twinsanity]

[...is it bad that he actually needs to think about this because um]

Well, I wouldn't let you date my sister, definitely. Although as far as I'm concerned, no one is allowed to date my sister unless she explicitly states to me that that's what she wants and they're up to my standards. Everyone else is getting shot.

Otherwise it doesn't bother me, no. Really, one of the only people I cared about was one of our servants back home.

What's bothering you, exactly?

[delivery]

[beholdmydemons]

[One BLOOBER has been sent to your PC.

NATURE: Hardy
CHARACTERISTIC: Somewhat vain
GENDER: Male
LEVEL: 20
OT: Walter | capture | Great Ball | Route 36 | 2/13/14

A rare and mysterious Bloober. His name is Goobert von Blobbenheim, thank you very much; he is a bloob of some distinction, and a slime yet unsurpassed.

This Bloober is exceptionally badly behaved...

ABILITY: Sap Sipper
MOVESET: Tackle, Bubble, Absorb, Protect, Bide, Dragon Breath

Happy Bloobentine's Day.]

May 1st | text

[bertall]

If I ever talk about going to the circus again, please talk me out of it.

[twinsanity]

Oh, you can't just say that and not go into detail about what happened.

[WHAT DID YOU DO, CHILD

THIS SOUNDS EITHER LIKE IT'S GOING TO BE HILARIOUS OR IT'S GOING TO END IN SOMEONE DEAD

...WHICH, LBR, IS ALSO HILARIOUS.]

[bertall]

<sub>[SOMETHING TERRIBLE.

SOMETHING ONLY A MONSTER COULD DO.]</sub>

Do you want the short version first or the long version?

[twinsanity]

Give me the long version, I'm not going anywhere.

July 9th!

[aufsassig]

Hey, I've got a riddle for you. "What do you do with a fish that shoots like a gun?"

The answer is "give it to a guy who'll use it."

[twinsanity]

Well, if that doesn't sound interesting, I don't know what does.

[aufsassig]

You're damn right it's interesting, I paid good money for this fucking fish.

It's yours, by the way.

8/14, anon fail

[bertall]

DON'T READ THIS u will get kissed on the nearest possible wednesday by ur crush. Tomorrow will be the best day ever and u will catch a rare pokemon. HOWEVER IF U DONT FORWARD THIS TO AT LEAST 5 PEOPLE bad luck will rear it's ugly head at u!! THIS IS NOT A JOKE. There are consiquences for ignoring this, u will get chased by 50 beedrills and sprayed by a skuntank!!!!11!

**NOTE** The more people U send this to, the better luck you have!

P.S. I did not make this up, someone sent it to me so I am passing it on!


_{ENCRYPTED ATTACHMENT: pory-con-invite.txt}

9/5, text

[bertall]

Guess who has two thumbs and can teach his team Fly?