IC Contact/Voicemail

[twinsanity]

[VOICE/TEXT/VIDEO; OPEN TO ALL]

"State your business in fifteen words or less; if it's important, I'll call you back."

[Please state in the subject line if OOC planning is preferred and we can handwave like the wind, but otherwise IC will be assumed!]

Comments

[bertall]

I called you?

<sub>[Thinking, thinking... Thinking about it for too long just makes his head hurt more than it already is, so he's just going to

not think and bury his head into the mountain of blankets he... somehow acquired before passing out.]</sub>

...Why'd I call you stupid?

[twinsanity]

Because I fell off a balcony, and apparently this was something stupider than anything Reiner has done.

You then told me that you're glad I'm stupid, and you're...anyway, it was a bit of a bizarre call.

[bertall]

Mm... It was pretty stupid, but he did something even worse before I came here. Maybe I'll tell you someday.

<sub>[When he hears the latter half, it takes everything he has to not panic. It couldn't have been that, so he was safe, right? Or maybe Alfred could keep one hell of a secret?

Alright, deep breaths. It'll be fine.]</sub>

...It feels like a titan flicked my forehead a few times.

[twinsanity]

[Well, if anything, the next thing he asks should clear that up in short order...]

...What on earth is a titan? Other than, presumably, "something huge."

[bertall]

_{[...Oh. That's... That's actually getting him to laugh a little bit. Talk about a load off his shoulders.]}

That's more or less what they are to be honest except they're not just big. They eat humans for apparently no reason at all and they've actually driven us to the brink of extinction in my world. Someone told me that there was six billion people in their world, but there's less than a million left in mine. The only way to kill them is by cutting the back of their necks, but people have to get up close with them. You can probably guess how that goes.

[twinsanity]

[...huh.]

Well, we definitely have more than a million, though I wouldn't say we have six billion, either - at the very least, not that many are still human. I haven't the vaguest what the actual count is anymore.

[Because what is a consistent canon, we just don't know.]

Who knows, maybe your world had an outbreak of some sort.

[bertall]

We don't know where they came from to begin with, so your guess is as good as mine.

But what do you mean by 'still human'? What happened?

[twinsanity]

Attempts to create bio-organic weaponry using mutated viruses happened. Surprisingly, attempting to modify humans with things that don't play nice with the human body doesn't often go very well.

But it did create quite a few nigh-unkillable things to keep my life interesting. And some of the monsters make wonderful pets; I play with them sometimes.

[bertall]

bio-organic... weaponry?

_{[............He can never have any 'normal' friends, can he.]}

...I think I'm still a little drunk, uh... D-Did you say you play with them?

[twinsanity]

Well, it involves guns and rocket launchers, of course, but yes.

[You know. As you do.]

[bertall]

I don't... actually know what a rocket launcher is.

_{[Guns are a thing he knows though!]}

[twinsanity]

You don't...

[...oh, hang on.]

Oh, that's right, I was going to explain missiles to you one day, too, wasn't I?

[bertall]

That's what you said before you ended up jumping off of the balcony.

_{[Never forget.]}

[twinsanity]

Oh, will you let that go - I'm never living that down, am I?

[bertall]

_{[He doesn't know what's so funny about that, but he can't stifle his laughter.]}

I don't think so, Alfred. You did do it when we first met, so that'll be something I won't be forgetting anytime soon.

[twinsanity]

[...you know, this is normally about the point when he would get huffy and just kind of hang up, because he doesn't tolerate this kind of shit from anyone; at the same time, for once in his miserable life he hesitates before just flouncing off - after all, this...is the guy who told him that he's glad he's alive and all, which is something he's genuinely never heard before. Not to say Alexander was terrible to him or anything, but...

Ugh, what the hell. If this is some sort of stupid game, he'll play for now.]

Well, at least you can't say that I don't know how to make a memorable first impression, can you!

[bertall]

It's better than the first impressions I make. A lot of people just knew me as 'that tall kid'.

_{[He'd take the crazy first impressions over the same old thing any day.]}

But you still owe me the talk about missiles.

[twinsanity]

...Yes, well. I'll give you that talk when you're not particularly hungover.

[bertall]

Okay.

...By the way, um... Sorry for making you think I was dead in a ditch. _{And thanks for checking on me.}