Alfred Ashford (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
twinsanity) wrote2014-01-14 12:21 pm
twinsanity) wrote2014-01-14 12:21 pm
005. [Text]
[You know, this is really the sort of thing that most would want to leave anonymous...but since Alfred has surveyed the available fucks he has to give and found them numbering entirely too many, he seems to have thrown them out in the window in favor of just being an abrasive idiot because he is the pride of the Ashford family like that.]
Well, since you all like text, I thought I would join you all because I was starting to feel a little left out. And we certainly can't have that, now, can we?
So we've had people trying to get the resident Hero Squad moving, people trying to poke the resident Villain Squad into doing...something and somesuch, I really have no idea what's going on there...
Do any of you people actually do things, or do you just kind of poke at each other? Some explosions here, shameless grandstanding there, assaulting a theatre and tying up women over there (though that last one isn't so much a crime as it is too much information about you people, I think)...
Are you going to actually get some sort of full-scale battling going on, or are you content to just tap at each other a bit? Really, at this rate I propose the formation of the Disinterested But Somewhat Amused Third Party in the name of messing with you both.
[...ALFRED...]
Well, since you all like text, I thought I would join you all because I was starting to feel a little left out. And we certainly can't have that, now, can we?
So we've had people trying to get the resident Hero Squad moving, people trying to poke the resident Villain Squad into doing...something and somesuch, I really have no idea what's going on there...
Do any of you people actually do things, or do you just kind of poke at each other? Some explosions here, shameless grandstanding there, assaulting a theatre and tying up women over there (though that last one isn't so much a crime as it is too much information about you people, I think)...
Are you going to actually get some sort of full-scale battling going on, or are you content to just tap at each other a bit? Really, at this rate I propose the formation of the Disinterested But Somewhat Amused Third Party in the name of messing with you both.
[...ALFRED...]
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[Did Ishimaru ever train them with an "attack killer bees" response? If not, she needs to make a mental note to remind him to do that. When he's not comatose.]
Uh...ummm...GRANDPA SAYS GO FIRE SPIN THE BEES.
[OH. WELL THEN. That...actually did absolutely nothing but it was probably a good try anyway. Good show, Parker. Nice attempt.]
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How many bees are we looking at - is it an entire nest of Beedrills, or...?!
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[She glances around rapidly, as if getting her bearings, and then cuts a hard turn right, cutting across a rather nice lawn as the impending buzzing grows ever louder.
Carefully, she comes to a halt, sets down her passenger, and plucks a pair of Pokeballs off her belt; upon throwing them out, Nate the Mightyena and Sophie the Ninetales make their respective appearances. Like good parents, they instantly catch on to her alarm.]
Guys. Bees!
[And with all the grace and training that the Eevees lacked, off go Nate and Sophie
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this entire adventure has been so painfully stupid
so painfully stupid
of course he has two that he could contribute to the burnination over there, but he's entirely too important for that, so. he'll just be...sort of staring down your passenger over there (who is not really doing much outside of listlessly staring back, so apparently he doesn't mind)]
...What in the world were you people even doing?
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[Like any normal, reasonable people would be doing on a beautiful day like today, asshole.]
Or we were, until Sneezy accidentally jolted the nest. Then we were running.
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[...just. let him take another look at your little friend there - nope, still dead behind the eyes. Well then.]
...He doesn't look like he's appreciating much of anything. What happened?
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[And he better not make a single even vaguely negative expression anywhere near the aforementioned friend's general direction or there will be blood.]
And you don't get to tell him how he can or can't appreciate something.
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[...wait, wait. Now that you are no longer running like hell, he can actually get a good look at you and...dear lord.]
...You're the one who was asking if the world was ending. I'm assuming this is the comatose friend?
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[It's the British...ocity that gives him away, assuredly.]
This is my brother.
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...I hate to break it to you, but if that's the case, somebody's parents are lying.
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That is the case. I'm adopted.
[...Sort of. Technically.]
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[...no really you actually kind of do]
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Well, I'm not.
[...]
Ew.
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[...]
Because ew.
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Are you done? 'Cause we have appreciating to do and you're still just. Standing there.
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...
From the bees.
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[...]
Neither of you are.
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Shut up.