005. [Text]

[twinsanity]

[You know, this is really the sort of thing that most would want to leave anonymous...but since Alfred has surveyed the available fucks he has to give and found them numbering entirely too many, he seems to have thrown them out in the window in favor of just being an abrasive idiot because he is the pride of the Ashford family like that.]

Well, since you all like text, I thought I would join you all because I was starting to feel a little left out. And we certainly can't have that, now, can we?

So we've had people trying to get the resident Hero Squad moving, people trying to poke the resident Villain Squad into doing...something and somesuch, I really have no idea what's going on there...

Do any of you people actually do things, or do you just kind of poke at each other? Some explosions here, shameless grandstanding there, assaulting a theatre and tying up women over there (though that last one isn't so much a crime as it is too much information about you people, I think)...

Are you going to actually get some sort of full-scale battling going on, or are you content to just tap at each other a bit? Really, at this rate I propose the formation of the Disinterested But Somewhat Amused Third Party in the name of messing with you both.

[...ALFRED...]

Comments

[text]

[beholdmydemons]

Go start a fight if you're that bored.

[text]

[twinsanity]

Go soak your head if you don't have any relevant thoughts.

[text]

[beholdmydemons]

I know you're only sniping but the weather really isn't bad for that. [hmm] I mean it, though. If there's not enough of a battle going on, walk outside and wave at someone. They'll fight you. You hardly need team rocket and the others waving their fingers around for that.

screw your post format i do what i want

[nostabbing]

[And assuredly all of that time Alfred spent carefully crafting his sassy and disdainful rhetoric warrants notice and recognition, but alas, it will not be coming from Parker today, as she is currently preoccupied with RUNNING THE FUCK PAST HIM, hauling a mass of white-fabric'd something on her back with a mess of twenty-nine Eevee and -lutions swarming hot on her heels.]

BEEEEEEEES!

[There is no time for further inquiry; she's not stopping to answer questions. There is no stopping. There is only running.

Far off in the distance, a menacing hum begins to fill the air.]

hahahahahaha oh my fucking god

[twinsanity]

[Well, Alfred is in the middle of crafting an equally sassy and disdainful response to this idiot who felt the need to open his damn mouth when he is quite suddenly bolted past by a-

...what...was that? Other than certainly a...]

What...?

[...yeahno wow hang on that just properly sank in and FUCK

look let's just say that Alfred is basically from zombie central and his family specializes in very large, very mutated and very angry insects

if someone bolts past you shrieking about some sort of fucking swarm you don't stop to question

you bolt as well

and when Alfred doesn't have his guns he is very skilled in the ancient art of FUCKFUCKFUCK GOTTA GO FAST running let me tell you

hello there fellow blonde person

he has one question for you

we can get filled in while we run is this okay with everyone]

What did you do?!

1/2

[twinsanity]

It's less that I want a fight and more that I'm getting sick offfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

[twinsanity]

[...and a few seconds later]

hold on there are bees

[Because apparently, there are bees.]

switch to voice

[beholdmydemons]

[I...okay. What?]

Why are there bees.

[Wait. Bees?]

-They hate smoke, right? [USE FIRE]

...good idea for once in your miserable life

[twinsanity]

[...you know...]

I don't know why there are bees! This woman just felt the need to -

[Hang on.]

Have you tried setting them on fire?!

[...okay right hello there]

Apparently some woman, a comatose person and their pets felt the need to make a bunch of bees upset, I'm not asking too many questions right at this exact moment!

excuse you 1/2

[beholdmydemons]

Wet wood makes the most smoke. [paper too but hell if he knows that] And bugs leave you alone when you go into the wat...er...

.....

[beholdmydemons]

...haha, go soak your own head!

[ c: ]

[twinsanity]

[Ooooooooooooooooh - ]

That depends on the bugs; the ones I'm used to wait.

Either that or they're in the water to begin with.

[...we don't...talk about those, though.]

[beholdmydemons]

[Fair enough. Also yeah these are probably Pokemon bees, aren't they.]

If fire works, use more.

je ne regrette rien

[nostabbing]

[LESS TALKING MORE SPRINTING COME ON EEVEELUTIONS, WE GOT BEES oh hey that guy's keeping up, he must work out. :|a]

THE SNEEZY ONE HAS ALLERGIES AND IT ZAPPED A NEST.

[Because that is totally what happened.]

text;

[bertall]

I don't know what's going on with them either but please don't do anything stupid.

as well you shouldn't

[twinsanity]

[Okay, look, this is going to be done to a backdrop of Walter yammering at them apparently and a few pauses in which Alfred feels this need to yell back at him, but - ]

Well, have you tried setting them on fire?!

text;

[twinsanity]

As though I would?

[So says the guy who died by jumping off a porch, and who spent part of this afternoon pursued by bees.]

That involves more investment than I have in whatever stupid game they're playing.

[twinsanity]

[okay, look, just

let him call you back

once the bee situation has been resolved because wow man what on earth is today]

...right. Right, well.

You were suggesting me going out to start some sort of battle on my own, I believe, before the bees happened.

What makes you think I'm interested in that?

[nostabbing]

[...Now there's an idea. She does like setting things on fire...though admittedly she's never tried it with attacking killer bees.

First time for everything?]

Hey! Hup-hups! Yeah, you! Foofy and other Foofy! ABOUT-FACE!

[She yells, as the expressions of the Flareons in the horde do a fair approximation of are you fucking kidding me right now.]

[beholdmydemons]

Did the fire work? [NO LET'S KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE BEES FOR A MOMENT]

[twinsanity]

[...oh, that reaction is promising.]

Are those things even yours?!

[nostabbing]

Shut up!

[Did Ishimaru ever train them with an "attack killer bees" response? If not, she needs to make a mental note to remind him to do that. When he's not comatose.]

Uh...ummm...GRANDPA SAYS GO FIRE SPIN THE BEES.

[OH. WELL THEN. That...actually did absolutely nothing but it was probably a good try anyway. Good show, Parker. Nice attempt.]

[twinsanity]

[Good job, everybody.]

How many bees are we looking at - is it an entire nest of Beedrills, or...?!

[nostabbing]

It was a nest in a tree, there's a — wait.

[She glances around rapidly, as if getting her bearings, and then cuts a hard turn right, cutting across a rather nice lawn as the impending buzzing grows ever louder.

Carefully, she comes to a halt, sets down her passenger, and plucks a pair of Pokeballs off her belt; upon throwing them out, Nate the Mightyena and Sophie the Ninetales make their respective appearances. Like good parents, they instantly catch on to her alarm.]

Guys. Bees!

[And with all the grace and training that the Eevees lacked, off go Nate and Sophie to save the day.]

text; oh my god I thought I tagged this good job self

[bertall]

Are you really asking me that?

_{[Alfred please.]}

I'm actually a little surprised that things haven't turned into a huge fight though... You'd think the "Hero Squad" _{[Alfred's words, not his!]} would've tried to do something already or something after those incidents... Or even the police, you know?