twinsanity: (Not with the likes of you)
[Alfred has been a bit...absent for the last week.

It's not unheard of for him to disappear for long periods at a time, vanishing behind the closed doors of that house he owns in Goldenrod; he's been known to have his reclusive spells, and for all intents and purposes this probably hasn't seemed much different. Granted, it's a longer period of time than he usually goes without being present in the Rocket labs – he's usually in there once every few days at least and he's been taking far more of an interest in chemistry than is really healthy lately – but altogether speaking it isn't abnormal, either.

The abnormal part kicks in when his video feed goes active today.

It's not terribly well set-up, though it doesn't seem like an accidental broadcast, either; the angle is just careless, aimed a bit too low to really give anyone a good idea of what they're looking at, but there's the usual red jacket and the shoulder guard and the medals, and once in a while one of his hands flicking across the screen where it comes in full view of the camera.

His breath is shaking a bit when he draws it in; it sounds almost like there's a laugh behind his words when he finally speaks, but it doesn't seem...right. The way he's speaking in general doesn't seem right, really - a bit too uncontrolled, a bit too high and pitchy and strange.]


So I'm going to assume that this particular week-long bout of sleep was just me...

[He laughs again, under his breath; it's closer to tittering than anything.]

That wasn't very nice of this place, now, was it? Why, it got my hopes up for nothing...I didn't even get to fight anything good, just –

[And he cuts himself off then; hesitates. Adjusts the angle of the camera so he's a bit more clearly seen. He's raking his hand back through his hair as he does so; it looks like he's been repeating that gesture a lot, given that he's far more disheveled than he ever allows himself to be on-camera.

His gaze is what's a bit worrying; it's oddly unfocused, a sense of distance there that isn't usually, not on days where anything's right in his head at all.

His words are still retaining that rushed, manic tone when he continues.]


Tell me, tell me – what's the last thing you remember before coming here? I'm sure you have some sort of story, just because no one here doesn't.

I didn't think I did, not really; apparently I was mistaken about that.
twinsanity: (I'm the one to take you on)
[TEXT]

Is there a way to make yourself stop thinking about someone that obviously isn't worth your time?

I feel like I've done everything I can to deal with the situation, so it's not like business is unfinished. And before you suggest forgiveness or something stupid like that, it isn't an option after what this person did, so don't bother. I just can't let this go for whatever reason and it's getting inconvenient and stupid and I'd rather not deal with it anymore, but deciding that you're not going to think about something is a waste of time for obvious reasons.

I don't care if I never stop hating them. I just want to stop thinking about it, and if I could cut out whatever part of my brain is responsible for that, I would.



[ACTION]

In which there is really blatant animal cruelty in this Rocket base. )

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Alfred Ashford

September 2020

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