IC Contact/Voicemail

[twinsanity]

[VOICE/TEXT/VIDEO; OPEN TO ALL]

"State your business in fifteen words or less; if it's important, I'll call you back."

[Please state in the subject line if OOC planning is preferred and we can handwave like the wind, but otherwise IC will be assumed!]

Comments

Dec 30th/31st | Voicemail 1/too many

[bertall]

_[3:02AM]

Allllllllfred! Alfred, you should... You should pick up your phone-thing. S'Bertl! I did, uhm... I did... I did things! I did that thing you said to do!

[bertall]

_[3:05AM]

Alfred.

[bertall]

_[3:06AM]

Are you aslee--_[THUNK.]

[bertall]

<sub>[3:06AM]

M'okay!</sub>

[bertall]

_[3:15AM]

Hey, Alf--Alfur... Alferd. Alferd. I wanna... I gotta tell y'somethin' really 'mportant.

[bertall]

_[3:20AM]

You 'n Reiner are stupid. Y'do... Y'do stupid things. You fell off a balcony and I thought you died. You're both stupid. He does stupid things too but that's stupid. Stupider.

[bertall]

<sub>[3:25AM]

[The next one is just a full minute of giggling.]</sub>

[bertall]

_[3:30AM]

You're--You're a good person, Alfred. M'glad you're stupid and jumped off the balcony 'n m'glad you're alive instead of...

Not-alive.



We should... do stuff. I 'unno what but we gotta do stuff... and things. Me 'n you. Fubar 'n Ashfloor. Doing things. Reiner's not invited.

NOW IT'S... DONE....

[bertall]

_[3:31AM]

We're friends, right?

[twinsanity]

[...oh my god.

He is not awake enough for any of this, and he suspects that Bertholdt is also not awake enough for any of this, so he's just...going to leave this until a more halfway respectable time of morning.

Namely, 7:30 AM or so. Hope you're not hungover - ]

Bertholdt Fubar, you had better not be dead of alcohol poisoning over there!!

[ - because holy shit, can this guy screech when he wants to.]

[bertall]

<sub>[Well it's better than 6:30, but it wouldn't make much of a difference to him either way; his head hurt and he felt way too sick to even try throwing his 'gear halfway across the room to get it to stop making noise.

Actually he did try, but protesting in the form of grumbles isn't very effective.]</sub>

Mnnm.

_{[Translation? THIS WAS A STUPID IDEA.]}

[twinsanity]

Are you in a ditch somewhere? Tell me you're not in a ditch somewhere.

[Not like he gives a fuck or anything.]

[bertall]

_{[Okay just... give him like five minutes so he can try and make himself coherent here.]}

I'unno.

<sub>[That... isn't really an answer but it's something!

Just chillax a little Alfred, he's just sort of dead to the world in his hotel room.]</sub>

[twinsanity]

[...]

You drank it all, didn't you.

[That's not even a proper question.]

[bertall]

Y'told me to.

_{[NOT HIS FAULT.]}

[twinsanity]

Yes, and you told me you would let me know how it went, not that you would be calling me at three in the morning to tell me that you're glad I'm stupid.

[And the...other things that he's not sure what to do with.]

[bertall]

I called you?

<sub>[Thinking, thinking... Thinking about it for too long just makes his head hurt more than it already is, so he's just going to

not think and bury his head into the mountain of blankets he... somehow acquired before passing out.]</sub>

...Why'd I call you stupid?

[twinsanity]

Because I fell off a balcony, and apparently this was something stupider than anything Reiner has done.

You then told me that you're glad I'm stupid, and you're...anyway, it was a bit of a bizarre call.

[bertall]

Mm... It was pretty stupid, but he did something even worse before I came here. Maybe I'll tell you someday.

<sub>[When he hears the latter half, it takes everything he has to not panic. It couldn't have been that, so he was safe, right? Or maybe Alfred could keep one hell of a secret?

Alright, deep breaths. It'll be fine.]</sub>

...It feels like a titan flicked my forehead a few times.

[twinsanity]

[Well, if anything, the next thing he asks should clear that up in short order...]

...What on earth is a titan? Other than, presumably, "something huge."

[bertall]

_{[...Oh. That's... That's actually getting him to laugh a little bit. Talk about a load off his shoulders.]}

That's more or less what they are to be honest except they're not just big. They eat humans for apparently no reason at all and they've actually driven us to the brink of extinction in my world. Someone told me that there was six billion people in their world, but there's less than a million left in mine. The only way to kill them is by cutting the back of their necks, but people have to get up close with them. You can probably guess how that goes.

[twinsanity]

[...huh.]

Well, we definitely have more than a million, though I wouldn't say we have six billion, either - at the very least, not that many are still human. I haven't the vaguest what the actual count is anymore.

[Because what is a consistent canon, we just don't know.]

Who knows, maybe your world had an outbreak of some sort.

[bertall]

We don't know where they came from to begin with, so your guess is as good as mine.

But what do you mean by 'still human'? What happened?

[twinsanity]

Attempts to create bio-organic weaponry using mutated viruses happened. Surprisingly, attempting to modify humans with things that don't play nice with the human body doesn't often go very well.

But it did create quite a few nigh-unkillable things to keep my life interesting. And some of the monsters make wonderful pets; I play with them sometimes.

[bertall]

bio-organic... weaponry?

_{[............He can never have any 'normal' friends, can he.]}

...I think I'm still a little drunk, uh... D-Did you say you play with them?