Alfred Ashford (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
twinsanity) wrote2014-02-26 07:33 pm
twinsanity) wrote2014-02-26 07:33 pm
Entry tags:
- !ic,
- *video,
- @bertholdt fubar,
- @hiyoko saionji,
- @jimmy two-shoes,
- @makoto naegi,
- @roxy lalonde,
- @sho minamimoto,
- @walter,
- also sabine,
- clearly it's story hour,
- for fuck's sake,
- he grew up in antarctica okay,
- no sense of irony,
- pride of the ashford family,
- really really roundabout questions,
- somebody make him stop talking,
- this never ends well,
- this sort of shit's always a good sign,
- welcome to the ashford dynasty,
- why this,
- why we can't have nice things
006. [Video]
[Alfred actually seems pretty calm over the video feed today - and it is Alfred today, as opposed to Alexia; it's overcast but it's warm enough, and he's currently settled under one of the trees in Ilex Forest. He's not looking at the camera, but rather his gaze is downcast, focused on the...thing he's got draped over his lap. No, it's not one of the Bloobers, but admittedly a three-eyed pink slug the size of a fairly large dog with a naturally-occurring Viking helmet isn't much better, because what in the good hell is having normal pets.
At least he's smiling, kinda. For once.]
So...
[And from that one word alone, we are clearly in for a bit of a story. Why? Because why not, that's why. Just let him pet his giant sea slug and talk for a while, okay, don't crush his dreams.]
Once upon a time in a faraway country - as so many of these stories tend to begin - there was a King who was noted for his benevolence and charity to all his subjects. He was loved by all who knew him, which was fortunate for him, really, as he was also naive and, while well-meaning, easily taken advantage of.
A short time into his rule, he took a bride; the Queen he chose - for reasons that were surely only known by him - was one who was notoriously cold and had a reputation for being nasty in personality, and was just generally difficult to get along with. The respect she commanded was gained through fear, not love; it seemed no one loved her but the King, in fact.
[He pauses for a moment, tipping his head a bit before going back to petting the slug.]
To his credit, he loved her completely.
[That's better, apparently.]
Now, the King had a tendency to take walks through the garden every morning at a precise time, such that he could have an hour or so to himself every day before seeing to his duties as the ruler of the country. Which is well and good...until one morning, when he didn't return.
He was found a short while later, lying dead in that garden he loved so much, a single arrow piercing his heart.
[...okay, judging by this pause here, either he's collecting himself or the damn thing literally ends there; let's have a moment and pray that he's seriously not - ]
...You know, I've never known it to have an ending outside of that; that's always how I've known the story to go.
I suppose that's why I've always liked it so much, really; the ending can be taken any number of ways, depending on how you feel that day.
[Goddamn it, Alfred.]
It's one of those weird stories where I don't know where it came from, though...I mean, I suppose my father had to have told me at some point, since I can't imagine the scientists telling me anything of the sort - but I've no idea where he got it, if that's the case. My sister and I both know a version of the same story put to music; I just don't remember hearing it.
[...]
Is that common, do you think? Having something that you've known for so long that you don't remember where it came from, and it's strange for you to try to imagine there being a time where you didn't know it...?
At least he's smiling, kinda. For once.]
So...
[And from that one word alone, we are clearly in for a bit of a story. Why? Because why not, that's why. Just let him pet his giant sea slug and talk for a while, okay, don't crush his dreams.]
Once upon a time in a faraway country - as so many of these stories tend to begin - there was a King who was noted for his benevolence and charity to all his subjects. He was loved by all who knew him, which was fortunate for him, really, as he was also naive and, while well-meaning, easily taken advantage of.
A short time into his rule, he took a bride; the Queen he chose - for reasons that were surely only known by him - was one who was notoriously cold and had a reputation for being nasty in personality, and was just generally difficult to get along with. The respect she commanded was gained through fear, not love; it seemed no one loved her but the King, in fact.
[He pauses for a moment, tipping his head a bit before going back to petting the slug.]
To his credit, he loved her completely.
[That's better, apparently.]
Now, the King had a tendency to take walks through the garden every morning at a precise time, such that he could have an hour or so to himself every day before seeing to his duties as the ruler of the country. Which is well and good...until one morning, when he didn't return.
He was found a short while later, lying dead in that garden he loved so much, a single arrow piercing his heart.
[...okay, judging by this pause here, either he's collecting himself or the damn thing literally ends there; let's have a moment and pray that he's seriously not - ]
...You know, I've never known it to have an ending outside of that; that's always how I've known the story to go.
I suppose that's why I've always liked it so much, really; the ending can be taken any number of ways, depending on how you feel that day.
[Goddamn it, Alfred.]
It's one of those weird stories where I don't know where it came from, though...I mean, I suppose my father had to have told me at some point, since I can't imagine the scientists telling me anything of the sort - but I've no idea where he got it, if that's the case. My sister and I both know a version of the same story put to music; I just don't remember hearing it.
[...]
Is that common, do you think? Having something that you've known for so long that you don't remember where it came from, and it's strange for you to try to imagine there being a time where you didn't know it...?
video;
[...Well. This is awkward.
What now...I mean, do we hang up, do we attempt to keep talking, do we...what.]
Tell me one of yours, then, I'm sure you have one.
video;
Oh, really? Well...I don't really know too many stories, 'specially not ones like that..
[Any fairy tales he's aware of are hard to come by, since Lucius keeps a firm hand on most of the books in Miseryville, or they just happen to be stories he's made up all on his own.]
Oh! Do you wanna hear about what my home is like?
[This can go badly or very badly.]
video;
Let's do this thing.]
Go ahead; I don't see why not.
video;
[He takes a breath, gesturing with his hands as he continues.]
Other than the town there's a lot of other places, like the huuuge beach with the ocean, and the forest and the mountains.. Anyway, Miseryville is run by Lucius, my best friend Beezy's dad, who tries to make Miseryville the most miserable place to live. My other friend, Heloise, works at his factory- Misery Inc.- and helps him come up with all sorts of inventions to sell to people. They're all really great!
[Great.]
video;
... ... ...
... ... ... ... ...]
You're joking.
video;
[C'mon Alfred why would he lie.]
video;
Is there a reason this place is supposed to be making people miserable, outside of being a thinly-veiled metaphor for Hell?
video;
[...]
...I dunno!
...
...what's Hell?
video;
HOWEVER, APPARENTLY TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY.]
Well, where I'm from, one of the major religions believes that when you die, you either go to Heaven, Purgatory or Hell. Heaven is where people go if they've lived in a way that can be considered kissing up to God and having no life otherwise, and they're all pious and holy and spend all their time...well, kissing up to God and having no afterlife. Choirs of angels and wings everywhere and harps and fluffy clouds and all that. Supposedly no suffering, either, so at least there's that.
No one really agrees on what Purgatory even is, so don't ask me. It's just somewhere you go if you weren't a perfect sweetheart, but at the same time you hadn't angered God enough for Him to kick you out of his domain. It's supposed to purify your sins if you're there long enough, and then you get to move on to Heaven as a reward.
Hell is where the wicked go to burn for what they did - the ones who have angered God to the point that he wants nothing to do with them. So they're cast down into eternal suffering and misery; there's lakes of fire and massive serpents, and it's run by the fallen angel Lucifer, whose job it is to punish everyone there and make sure their afterlives are as terrible as possible.
video;
....
[He opens his mouth to say something, but the boy is quite obviously dumbstruck.
...then.]
...I don't think Miseryville and Hell are the same place.
video;
video;
I.....uuuhhh. ....Right.
[You've....given him something to think about, at least. He's not entirely sure how he feels about that but NNNOOO WAY THAT'S MISERYVILLE.
NOPE.]
video;
video;
[Too charming indeed.]
'Sides, Miseryville isn't....that bad.
video;
video;
M...maybe later. ..Um. ...I think I should prolly go now, actually! My egg finally hatched into a Buizel so I wanted to train him a little...
[THAT'S...unusual. Very unusual. So gold star for doing the impossible, Alfred!
But, really, he suddenly doesn't feel like he wants to talk about Miseryville anymore. ...Or. ...this.]
It was nice meeting you though.
video;
[Enjoy your...weasel thing, you.]